It’s good to be back, even if it’s just for a moment.
A lot has happened since the last time I blogged so I’ll be filling you all in on the pertinent details.
First, you remember Paul Lemmen, con artist, grifter, military impostor? Well, he’s dead (or so it’s been reported). I can’t say for sure if he’s really dead or if this is another one of his elaborate scams – I wouldn’t put it past him.
At this time we’re supposed to say something good about the dead, so here it goes:
Paul Lemmen is dead. Good!
Second, Paul Krendler (aka Patrick Grady – don’t attempt to deny it) has thrown in the towel. Methinks the new squeeze (yes, he actually got married – again) has since put the kibosh on his extra-curricular blogging activities and being that he is fresh into his second marriage he doesn’t want to wreck it quite just yet.
Krendler, as some of you may know, has made Bill Schmalfeldt the subject of his blog (and no, I will not link to it) for a few, obsessive, Tourettes laden years. I guess the new wife persuaded him to finally let it go.
Aaron Walker, Worst Attorney Ever, is still unemployed. No surprise there – and he still blames Brett Kimberlin for his sad, sorry-ass state of affairs.
Ali Akbar is now Ali Alexander. I’m guessing his real last name in the age of Trump is a bit too exotic for this new batch of pigeons, I mean fellow conservatives – it does sound a bit too Islamic and these days Muslims are really getting the shit end of the stick.
The grift continues…
Bobby McCain? Who knows what that racist, old drunk is up to these days. I could give a shit, but why? I think he’s still writing and panhandling for his blog since he’s pretty much journalistic poison that no self-respecting media outlet will hire.
Seth Allen has pretty much dropped off the face of the earth, whereabouts unknown. As mentally unstable as he is, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if he was homeless living in a tent somewhere.
Which brings me to the man himself, WJJ Hoge III and his little blog Hogewash.
First, though, the details of the time he tried to sue me.
Oh yes, he tried to sue me. He actually tried it.
Short version: he lost.
Somewhat longer version: he lost badly.
Actually, I wasn’t the only one he tried to sue. He also went after Bill Schmalfeldt, Matt Osborne (both doing quite well these days), Brett Kimberlin (also doing well) and some people he couldn’t identify in court papers. He was going to sue us all for $75,000 a piece.
What for, you ask? Well, to distill this answer to it’s essence: we were all in a conspiracy to defame him.
No, seriously, that’s what he alleged in court.
Come on, stop laughing. Seriously.
Before I go on to describe what happened in court it’s necessary to pause for a moment to tell you about the state of Hogewash these days.
It’s basically a wasteland.
See, the only thing driving Hogwash’s traffic was Bill, Matt and myself (as much as Hoge pretends I’m not that important) and while this case was heading to court there was much spectacle over on Hogewash and after it was over (and Hoge was unceremoniously handed his ass) the party ground to a halt.
Bill, Matt and I basically left Hoge to marinate and basically stopped talking about him proving beyond any reasonable doubt that he needed us more than we needed him.
Oh, Hoge still publishes every day but Hoge is a lot like that guy who graduated from High School three years ago and still hangs out in the High School parking lot showing everybody his bitchin’ car by commemorating the anniversary of all the blogs he’s published by republishing them.
Yes, you read this right – Hoge is recycling. He’s reliving past “glories” and yes, it’s as pathetic as it sounds.
His followers, all but the most die-hard of them (all three by last count), have stopped commenting. He gets maybe two or three comments a day, if it all and they only usually comment on anything to do with Bill, Matt or myself.
They don’t comment on anything else. Even the Brett Kimberlin stuff hardly rates anymore.
It’s been like this since he lost that court case he started.
Which brings us to the day of the case:
Hoge had tried, very unsuccessfully, to drag me into a Maryland court. What’s funny about this non-starter is that I had already a motion before the court contesting jurisdiction (as I had no ties to Maryland). Hoge, in his usual mendacious style, was basically trying to have the judge micro-manage every facet of the case.
Suffice it to say, this was a legal Hail Mary that – predictably – fell flat on its face.
The judge ruled that I didn’t have to come to Maryland and that I could make an appearance via Skype, as could Bill Schmalfeldt.
Matt Osborne didn’t bother to show as he successfully ducked the process server.
I, unfortunately, wasn’t so lucky. Hoge actually dispatched the Sheriff’s Deputies in the county I live in to serve me – which was a huge mistake as Hoge is supposed to be a legal genius and that was a total rookie move.
Why? Because by doing that he availed himself of California law and thus made himself subject to the state’s jurisdiction. Such is life when you want to serve court papers on someone in another state.
As to why Hoge would do such a thing it’s because, for all his protests on how much his legal-fu is best, he’s actually quite inept. I predict he’s going to read this, then turn around and proclaim it was “proceeding as I have forseen” and, yes, he wants you to believe that risking getting his ass dragged into a California court was all part of his master plan.
So the day of the court hearing arrived and since I’m in California I had to log into Skype at 5 in the morning as Maryland is three hours ahead of me.
After a nearly 45 minute wait, the hearing was in session. Online via Skype was myself and Bill, in the courtroom was Brett Kimberlin and his lovely wife Tetyana.
I waved to them and they waved back to me. Finally, at long last, I got to meet Brett and Tetyana in person (sort of).
When it came my turn to speak, I put the terms very simply: I had no ties to Maryland. I don’t own any property in Maryland. I don’t pay any taxes in Maryland. I don’t do business in Maryland. I don’t do anything in Maryland. At all. Period.
In short, I am not subject to the jurisdiction of the state of Maryland and if Hoge wants to sue me, he knows where California is.
The judge agreed. Case dismissed.
Ze vorr for me, Britischer pig, is over!
When one is sued in civil court for the ridiculous sum of money WJJ Hoge was demanding, one is forced to write a motion explaining why one doesn’t believe they are subject to any of this nonsense. When I got the papers explaining why I was being sued in a Maryland court I had several options before me but the best one was to fight Hoge on jurisdictional grounds.
So I jumped on my computer and searched the internet for a motion challenging jurisdiction in a Maryland court.
What? I didn’t write it, you say? I completely cribbed this motion from another case and used it in a motion against Hoge?
You’re right – I didn’t. And I did.
For all his chest beating, fire breathing, puffed up posturing Hoge’s suit against me was shot down in one motion that I didn’t even write. The bottom line here is Hoge can say whatever he wants but the truth is I took his so-called legal acumen and smashed it into a million pieces.
I won. I was never going to trial in a Maryland court.
What happened next was sad and funny at the same time. There was Hoge, shoulders slouched as he plopped into a chair looking dejected, his attention fixated on the floor when he suddenly looked up, turned his head toward the monitor and did the “adjust your glasses with your middle finger” move.
Fuck me, Hoge? No, Hoge…fuck you. And you fucked yourself.
What was even funnier after I had said my piece was Hoge explaining to the judge that he named me as being part of this conspiracy to defame him, the judge responded that Hoge hadn’t plead or alleged any sort of conspiracy.
Another rookie move. You don’t get to allege without citing any real examples of why your allegations should be believed.
I nearly peed myself stifling an outburst of laughter. This man, who is supposed to be a legal genius who is forever victorious, didn’t and couldn’t plead his allegations clearly and correctly to the court.
What’s even funnier is that even after having been told that you didn’t plead the case you think you’re pleading Hoge didn’t bother to go back and revise his original complaint.
Yeah, I smartened the chump again. So what? It’s not like he’s going to pay attention to me giving him pointers.
That’s the depth of his arrogance. Nobody can tell him different.
As for the actual trial, well – as it was explained to Hoge at the hearing – he hadn’t plead a conspiracy but he thought he was going to win and even blogged he was going to win.
Bill Schmalfeldt? Dismissed.
Matt Osborne? Dismissed.
The nameless Acme Group? Dismissed.
Brett Kimberlin? Dismissed.
What was funny about Bill and Matt is that they never bothered to show up to court, which you’d think they’d automatically default and lose this case for not appearing.
Nope. By virtue of not even being in court they still beat Hoge.
It is now nearly three years since the trial ended and Hoge’s case against us went down in flames and yet there is Hoge still beating his chest, still puffed up and posturing.
As for the rest of us, we’ve moved on but Hoge, in a pathetic attempt to gin up his sorry traffic numbers, still mentions us (especially me, even though I’m not important enough for him).
Well, I suppose I have by virtue of writing this blog, given Hogewash something new to talk about for a couple of days which proves what I’ve said all along to be true – he needs me (and the rest of us) more than I, or the rest of us, need him.
We have absolute power over Hoge and Hogewash now because without us he has nothing – we control his vertical, we control his horizontal.
Without myself, Brett, Bill or Matt his blog would be as edgy as wallpaper.
Enjoy it while it lasts, Hoge – this is the last time you’ll ever hear from me.
I won. Not only did I win, but I also got the measure of you and found it exactly what I thought it would be: wanting. I find you as I found you having dragged me into this seven years ago – unimpressive.
Enjoy hanging out in the High School parking lot showing everybody your bitchin’ car.
The mockery continues…but you’ll never know about it – and that’s going to drive you crazy.
themockerycontinues 