Yeah, He Actually Tried To Sue Me

I’m back.

The Mockery Continues…

P.S. Yes, he actually tried to sue me. I’ll fill you in on the details soon.

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Tourette’s Shouldn’t Stop You From Blogging – A Guide To Writing Like Paul Krendler

Yes, I’m back.

So there’s this person who calls himself “Paul Krendler” over at The Thinking Man’s Zombie (which I will not link to) that I have mentioned before, possessed of singular wit and obsessive compulsiveness.

Namely our good friend Bill Schmalfeldt.

Once in a blue moon I pop over to his blog to see what he’s written about Bill and no matter how long I go between readings there is forever always something about Bill Schmalfeldt he’s written.

And it’s pretty much the same thing with little variation on the same theme.

What Paul does is take Bill’s blogs and tweets and injects his own words into them.

For example, let’s take this tweet from Bill:

bill tweet

 

Now after giving it the Krendler business it becomes:

krendler tweet

See how clever that is? Boggles the mind on the sheer weight of ingenuity and creativity and you’re probably wondering how you, too, can write with such rapier wit.

Well wonder no more, boys and girls! Yer Uncle Willy is going to impart the secret on how you, too, can write like a 4th grader suffering from advanced Tourette’s Syndrome in a few easy steps:

First, say “fuck” a lot.

Say “DUMBFUCK” a lot.

Start riffing on variations of “fuck” and “DUMBFUCK” a lot.

Posture and make hollow threats.

Reach into the deep recesses of your bereft soul and empty life

???

Profit!

Yes you, too, can be a one-trick pony in the blogosphere by following these seven simple steps.

Entertain your readers – all four of them! Also be sure to draw upon your own life experiences and project them verily unto others –  such as the object of your obsessive compulsive disorder and poor impulse control.

I fully expect after reading this Krendler is going to give this his patented prosaic style to which I say feel free, dumbfuck – because making my point for me is small potatoes when you have a bigger fish to fry.

Happy hunting, Ahab.

The Mockery Continues.

Afterthought: does Mrs. Krendler enjoy sex with Mr. Krendler and his advanced Tourette’s because it makes her sound awesome in bed? Asking for a friend.

A Break From The Drought

hoge is making this up you know

Ah…Hoge spouts the old “you have a job because of a rich person” talking point.

It really must be a slow day at Hogewash!.

This might be true if, say, the rich person inherited their money and you’re working for them as their personal butler but if you’re like me (someone who works a steady 9-5 like 94% of the working adults in this country) your paycheck doesn’t come from the stuffing in the mattress of the company owner.

No, it does not – it comes from lots of other people like me who buy lots and lots of the products the company you work for sells.

Those guys in the suits are just the middlemen. You know – “supply and demand”.

Hoge has just gone and repeated something that is not only untrue, it’s insultingly untrue and it is the oft-repeated whacked-out bullshit the likes of Hannity, Beck, Limbaugh, etc who, from time to time, like to remind their listeners that “no poor person ever gave me a job”.

Those idiots are being paid by their advertisers who, in turn, make money by selling goods and services to a lot of those poor people.

Ergo: the cash they get paid bears the unmistakable prints of the lower classes and rich people most certainly do not make the world go ’round.

It takes everybody, whether you’re the head of a Fortune 500 or some guy schlepping it at WalMart or you run a small mom-and-pop liquor store on the corner.

Hoge seems to think that the rich are unfairly targeted and that they’re asked to put in more than everyone else. Well, everyone else on the planet also feels this way.

Welcome to the human race – where we all get the same raw deal.

Hillary is correct and The Mockery Continues…

 

Let’s See If Paul Krendler Has The Testicular Fortitude

Saw this today on Thinking Man’s Zombie, “Paul Krendler’s” blog (and, no, I won’t link to it):

krendler makes me laugh again

Well, let’s see….

I have used seven paragraphs, never got permission and more than 30 words and having committed such a flagrant violation of Krendler’s copy(yeah)right, I expect he (or Hoge) will drop the full weight of the courts on me for this.

To which I say: bring it on.

I’ll tell you why neither Hoge or Krendler will lift a finger. For starters, Hoge isn’t going to bother to come out to California. Oh, no sir – he’s not going to pay the airfare to come out here and sue me.

I am, however, entertaining the idea of moving to Maryland just so I can spot him a handicap.

As for Krendler, well…he’s a coward. No way in hell he’d give up his anonymity to sue me so I’m just going to go ahead and keep copying/pasting his blogs from now on for the simple fact that people (and not sockpuppets) have legal standing.

But I’ve been wrong before. Perhaps this will be the impetus Paul needs to sprout some sack and walk the fuckin’ plank.

The Mockery Continues…

Thar He Blows!

one trick hoge

 

Yet another restraining or peace order…

As I pointed out in a previous blog, this is Hoge’s only trick. He’s tried getting Bill arrested (failed), tried to sue Bill into destitution (also failed).

So it’s “Leave me alone…or I’ll yell Leave Me Alone again.”

The Mockery Continues…

An Open Letter To My Most Excellent Friend

Date: August 28. 2014 9:05 AM PDT

To: My Most Excellent Friend Bill Schmalfeldt

From: William A. Ferguson

Subject: Who Loves Ya, Baby?

 

Dear Bill,

Hey, buddy, how they hanging today? I sincerely hope this letter finds you and yours well this fine August day.

So I see Hoge went behind your back to the courts and got another peace order – this time for a year – after he shook your hand and told you that he wasn’t going to pursue that avenue against you and I also see that this treachery has angered you something fierce.

I don’t blame you for feeling the way you do. There have been times in my life where people have lied to my face and it never fails to piss me off so I completely understand the level of betrayal you feel right now for believing in the goodness of your fellow man only to have that faith shattered.

I hope I’m not presuming too much when I say that I speak not only for myself but for the people who also love and care about you as much as I do when I say this:

You have got to let this go.

Yes, Hoge is a liar. Yes, he’s a piece of shit. Yes, he’s a vexatious snake but you want to know something? You already knew this and now you’ve been given a stark reminder that he is never to be trusted.

Lesson learned.

I write this letter to you today not to scold you, not to call you a sap, not to chastise you in any way but to remind you of the bigger picture – the one you don’t seem to be looking at right now.

And here it is:

Two things.

First, Hoge has tried to throw you in jail 367 times. He failed as he couldn’t see the forest for the trees by thinking that the folks in authority would take him seriously…and didn’t.

Secondly, Hoge has tried to bankrupt you by suing you on a bullshit copyright infringement case to the tune of $620,000. Even the judge who first reviewed the case let it be known to the world that he had nothing so – predictably – he failed that, too.

These two items are no small potatoes, Bill. Hoge has tried to take away both your freedom and put you and your wife out on the street yet you’re not sitting in jail nor are you and Gail homeless today.

I say this to remind you that Hoge has done his worst and couldn’t touch you and all he can do is file his little peace order against you.

That’s right – for all his huff-and-puff-blow-your-house-down-fire-breathing-chest-beating posturing, the only thing he’s got is to get a judge to tell you to leave him alone.

Yes, you can still Tweet and blog about him. This is still the United States Of America and you still have a First Amendment right to write whatever you want and (as an added bonus) you still have the doctrine of Fair Use on your side as his infringement suit was dismissed with prejudice – so you go right ahead; quote and mock him to your heart’s content.

There’s nothing else he can do to you anymore.

As for this peace order, let’s call it what it really is: Hoge has told the world he’s a grown-ass man who fears a 59 year old with Stage IV Parkinson’s Disease. This is the shame he has to live with – not you.

It doesn’t get any more pathetic than that.

So let him file his peace orders. Let him file five, ten, a hundred, a thousand more. You know the old saw about a fool and his money, right?

In conclusion – on behalf of those of us who love and care about you, please let this go. Hoge has done his worst and it is found sorely lacking.

Go on and enjoy the rest of your life. The best revenge is to live well.

Sincerely,

William A. Ferguson

The Mockery Continues