“Woman! Git In That Thar Driveway An’ Check That Car For Bombs!”

This is Aaron Justin Walker and he’s a man on a mission.


The story I’m about tell you about this man is all true. I am not making this up, nor could I make this up if I tried lest I be sued for libel.

This is the incredible story of a man whose obsession – that of one Brett Kimberlin – has been allowed to consume his life to the point where he is totally unemployable, socially unacceptable and it’s even landed him a brief stint in the klink.

Aaron Justin Walker is an attorney, or at least he was until Brett Kimberlin became his all-important mission.

You see, in Walker’s eyes, if ever evil walked the planet in the form of a man that man would be Brett Kimberlin. This man has gone to extraordinary lengths to get his nemesis at the cost of his career, his livelihood, his freedom, his dignity and his self-respect.

How the hell did this happen?

Aaron Walker hates muslims. Oh yes, indeedy, he hates him some muslims! Hooooly shit he hates muslims!

Did I mention he hates muslims? Yeah? Ok…

One day Aaron heard that some muslims were upset – really upset – about an incident blaspheming their prophet Muhammed (peace be unto him).  So upset, they started riots in just about every corner of the planet, save the United States.  Lots of people were killed, lots of stuff got blow’d up real good, lots of Americans overseas – including our brave fighting boys and girls – suddenly found themselves targets.

Now the rational person would deplore the violence but also would deplore the person who fanned the flames of violence by doing something he knew was going to piss a lot of muslims off but as I’ve learned having watched this man operate, Aaron Walker is anything but rational.

Oh no. He decides he’s going to do something “fatwa worthy”. Now, if you think getting fatwas issued is a long, drawn-out, sober vetting process allow me to dispel that myth. Just pick up the phone and dial 1-800-FATWA and the deed is done.

So what does Aaron Walker do? He creates a blog, on company time at his job, called “Everybody Draw Mohammed Day”.

In this little blog of his, he makes a few points very clear. In case this wasn’t brought to your attention earlier, he hates muslims.  He also makes it clear that he’s not going to accept just ANY drawing of Mohammed – oh no! It has to be “fatwa worthy” (his words), the more profane and blasphemous the better!

In other words, any submission he accepts and posts to his blog has to be so cringe-worthy as to want to make radical muslims want to kill you.

What a dangerous idea, you say. Why would this man want to expose himself and everybody else (including his employer) to possible violent repercussions from the muslim community? Why would you go and deliberately piss these people off while identifying yourself on the internet?

The answer is: he didn’t. To prove what a free-speech hero he is, Aaron Walker created this blog  under the assumed name of Aaron Worthing and to put the icing on the cake, he issued the following taunt:


Except, of course, he’s not. He’s Aaron Walker and most certainly not Aaron Worthing.

What is more incredible is that he demanded that those who submit artwork to “Everybody Draw Mohammed Day” take attribution for their work – by putting their real names on it. Yes, you read that right – while he hides behind a pseudonym he wants his readers to put their real names on their artwork.

Oh yes…him very brave.

Then one day, Aaron Walker’s attention is drawn to one Seth Allen – a man whose life and works I will delve into in later blogs. Let’s just say, for now, that the cheese done fell off that boy’s cracker a long time ago but needless to say Seth Allen was also on a mission to tell the world about the evil incarnate walking the planet in the form of Brett Kimberlin and his nefarious deeds.

The very fact that Kimberlin was still walking around was, in Seth’s eyes, an abomination to everything decent and moral in the world.

To tell the truth, Seth Allen’s motivations were more in line with his own selfish interests. You see, Brett Kimberlin is partners with Brad Friedman, the creator of The Brad Blog (yes, I’ll link to it) and Seth wanted very much to write for Brad Blog but Brad had a problem with that.

You see, “writing” and “Seth Allen” is like oysters and nail polish. They don’t go together. They’re not meant to go together. Seth’s writing is psychotic, rambling, self-aggrandizing and paranoid – not exactly made for prime time material over at The Brad Blog as (funny as it seems) Brad’s got standards and Seth is far below Brad’s standards – so much so that Brad informed Seth that he’d sooner gouge his own eyes out, set his hair on fire and dive into a tank of piranhas rather than take Seth on as a writer for Brad Blog (or words to that effect. I might be embellishing this for dramatic license, more or less).

At this point, there was nothing for Seth to do about Brad. Brad’s not going to have Seth write for him, it’s a done deal but on the other hand, Seth does know about Brett Kimberlin, the Speedway Bombings and Carl DeLong’s suicide five years after he was severely injured by one of those bombs so Seth takes it upon himself to engage in an active campaign to attack Brett Kimberlin.

Well, Seth reasoned, Kimberlin did use bombs and terrorists use bombs so therefore Brett Kimberlin is a terrorist – though Brett Kimberlin was never tried and convicted for terrorism. Also, Carl DeLong killed himself five years after he was injured by one of those bombs so let’s go ahead and blame Brett Kimberlin for that and call him a murderer even though nobody was killed at the time the bombings occurred and Brett Kimberlin was never tried and convicted for murder (though later he was held responsible for Carl DeLong’s suicide, an appeals court overturned that decision stating that Brett Kimberlin couldn’t be held responsible for Carl DeLong’s wish to kill himself).

Predictably, Brett Kimberlin filed a lawsuit against Seth Allen.

It’s not known exactly how Aaron Walker and Seth Allen got together. Many theories have been proffered, much speculation has occurred. It’s not known who contacted who first but, in the end, Aaron Walker decided he was going to help Seth with his defense against Brett Kimberlin by offering anonymous, under the table consulting.

Aaron Walker then paired up with another lawyer, Los Angeles Assistant District Attorney Patrick Frey. Frey, it should be noted, operates a right-wing blog called “Patterico Pontificates”. Along with a writer at Breitbart.com by the name of Mandy Nagy (who goes by the handle “Liberty Chick”) Walker, Frey, Nagy and Allen exchanged emails and plotted strategy and somewhere down the road during all this communication between the four of them, Seth Allen (in a characteristically bat-shit insane moment) decides to announce his intention to go ahead and murder Brett Kimberlin.

Now, Mandy Nagy doesn’t think too much of me. The feeling is mutual, but I do give this woman credit where it’s due – upon reading Seth’s email and his intent, Mandy Nagy stood up and did the right thing by alerting the authorities who then proceeded to take Seth into custody.

In the meantime, Brett Kimberlin got wind that Seth was getting help from a lawyer but didn’t know the lawyer’s name. In a court of law, you have the right to know who your accuser is and who’s their attorney of record. Together with Neal Rauhauser and Ron Brynaert, they discovered that Seth’s lawyer was Aaron Worthing, the creator of “Everybody Draw Mohammed Day”. Further investigation from Kimberlin, Rauhauser and Brynaert also revealed that Aaron Worthing was actually a compliance attorney for a home health-care service in Virginia called PRHI and it was then that the connection was made: Aaron Worthing was, in fact, Aaron Justin Walker.

Many things have been said about Brett Kimberlin, none of them good. It’s my pleasure to tell you that Brett Kimberlin, upon discovering Aaron Walker’s true identity, had a moment of clarity and concern. If Walker’s name was going to be released – as it was going to be – there would be an instant connection to Aaron’s employer as Aaron had been conducting his blog business on company time and networks. This was going to put Aaron’s co-workers, who at this time were completely oblivious to his activities, in immediate danger should the reprisals from radical muslims come so Brett Kimberlin decided to warn Aaron’s bosses what was going on and what might happen as a result.

Brett Kimberlin told the local police what Aaron was doing on PRHI company time. He went on to say that Aaron Walker had a blog called “Everybody Draw Mohammed Day” and what it’s purpose and intent was about. Brett Kimberlin also went on to explain that because this information was about to be made public there may very well be some “security concerns”.

Though this does not erase Brett Kimberlin’s criminal past, this swift action Brett Kimberlin undertook to protect innocent lives of people he didn’t know or had ever met was heroic as it possibly saved PRHI and it’s employees from a tragedy and lends itself (in some small measure) towards atonement and redemption.

PRHI reacted as any company would when learning that one of their employees was using company equipment to write a blog on their dime that incites the hatred of muslims and that there may be imminent reprisals against them as they would be seen as condoning the views of Aaron Walker.

They freaked and went into immediate damage control.

As did Aaron Walker, sort of.

For all of his tough-talking, no-holds barred, confrontational, in-your-face, stand-your-ground free speech champion rhetoric, Aaron “COME AND GET ME BITCHES!” Walker called two police departments demanding he be protected from either the jihadists who were just moments away from storming his home or Brett Kimberlin (either or both is possible), stopping just short of enrolling in the Witness Relocation Program.

He also armed himself to the teeth. If he was gonna die, he was gonna go out all guns blazing.

The second course of action Aaron Walker took was to write a long, whining and incredibly self-serving letter to PRHI’s Human Resources department where he took no responsibility for his actions by telling them (in so many words) that there’s this evil, soulless bomber out there who probably won’t do anything to you but it’s probably best that I inform you of this apocalyptic force of angry muslim extremists that I have brought down on all of you that may be baying for your blood outside the office doors.

And I won’t be in Monday morning.

It wasn’t too long after that PRHI’s Human Resources department mobilized into action by retaining the services of an attorney named James “Jim” Hodges to carry out Aaron Walker’s termination from the company.

In a politely worded but firm email to Aaron Walker, Jim Hodges explained that he had not only scared the living shit out of everyone at PRHI (who were now expecting violent reprisals from muslim extremists because of his blogging to purposely incite their hatred and violence) but that his pursuit of muslims and Brett Kimberlin caused his work to suffer greatly.

Time stamps had shown that Aaron Walker was blogging on company time with company computers. Boxes of unfiled documents laid haphazardly around his office, paritally completed. There were also several areas of litigation Aaron Walker was supposed to perform on behalf of PRHI that could not be accounted for.

Mr. Hodges also informed Aaron Walker that because of his shenanigans, PRHI was going to have to fork over a lot of money to clean up the mess he left behind.  A month later, Jim Hodges sent another email to Aaron Walker informing him that the local Islamic community was going to gather outside PRHI en masse for a demonstration and that he needed to make a statement to the effect of his not being with the company any longer.

The request fell on deaf ears. Instead of expressing any concern for the safety and well-being of his fellow co-workers, Aaron Walker complained bitterly to Jim Hodges that he was “interrupting time with his wife”, which was now 24/7 as he and Mrs. Walker (also fired from PRHI) were no longer employed.

Aaron Walker lied and continues to lie about the events that got him fired from PRHI, instead opting to blame his misfortune on Brett Kimberlin and not his incompetence as a lawyer and the jeopardy he placed his fellow co-workers at PRHI in. At one point he tried to sue Brett Kimberlin both in a Maryland Federal and a Virginia state court only to have both judges throw the case out of their courts before it even made it to discovery, with one Federal judge in Maryland telling Walker (in no uncertain terms) that if he ever brought that nonsense into his court again there would be sanctions as he dismissed Walker’s case with prejudice.

In a courtroom lobby in Maryland on May 29, 2012 Aaron Walker physically assaulted Brett Kimberlin, his rationale for the attack being that he believed the iPad Brett Kimberlin was holding was, in fact, a bomb set to blow him up. For this, Aaron Walker earned himself a little time in the county lockup as the judge decreed that an assault did indeed take place.

Aaron Walker now lives in a permanent state of fear: fear that one day, very soon, the recipients of his vexatious and violence-inciting attacks on their religion and prophet (or perhaps Brett Kimberlin) will come calling. So convinced that this fear is certainly manifest destiny that he makes his wife check the car for bombs.

Yes, you read that right – the brave, fearless free-speech champion COME AND GET ME BITCHES Aaron Walker has his wife check the car for explosives every morning with a mirror.

But that’s Aaron Walker. He’s willing to let everybody else get in the neck to prove a point, regardless of who gets killed in the process.

Even his own wife.

The mockery continues…


5 thoughts on ““Woman! Git In That Thar Driveway An’ Check That Car For Bombs!”

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